Overwhelming.

Its Overwhelming, my God my God... racked with love and pain. But Hope is indeed stronger than Fear, and we know we have one greater. I'm coming back to my first Love.

 Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heartbeat. 

Time for more Blogsies!

I've been lying awake all night... just dreaming.

Rosie the Riveter?

Why do I always feel like I need to be strong?

Pride, fear... is part of it. My nature demands that I step up to my own expectations. But tonight I am tired.  My soul is parched from a need that is too often left wanting.. the need to be protected. I am still such a girl... I want to be loved and to just be pretty, spending time making the house lovely and to laugh.

But I am where I am, because I am WHO I am. I am who God made me.

God. Made. Me. And he loves me very much. So I will trust that this night too will pass.

Dreamers and Visionaries.

You know them when you meet them. Those passion driven zealots with fire in their eyes. They're wild, they're daring and they always seem one step ahead of everyone else. In one way or another they find a way to succeed. Watch them, learn from them... or sidle up and learn with them!

I'm opening up my hands and letting it all fall out..
Raising them up to be filled by You...

I want to love and be loved. I understand now... that i want this crazy love.

Depressed?

Everyone should take a walk outside first thing in the morning. Its opens the mind, stretches the imagination and works the body.

On another note, i've been thinking about depression. I have many friends and relations that complain about depression now and again. Now i've been depressed as well, two days out of the past year. Not just the bummed, woe is me kind.. the really bad kind where there is something physically out of whack. I've also had the bummed woe is me kind and that is no fun either. BUT, i've given myself something to do when those sessions come upon me.. and that is to experiment in treating it! If your prone to depression, i encourage you to try this.

The first step is to separate yourself a bit and be able to see yourself from the outside. That takes some doing if you've never done it before. Literally, write down a plan to stick to when you feel the depression settle in. These are the things that should work if you give it good hearty effort.

Here's the things to try:

1. Find someone else to help and encourage. Forget about yourself, someone else may be having a crappy day and needs to hear a good word. Text your friends and let them know how much you appreciate them!  Or better yet, write a letter to someone.
2. Get outside! Go for a walk.. enjoy nature. It is good medicine
3. And most importantly... get rid of ALL SELF PITY. Write a list of all the good things you have, if you have trouble... go on line and google 'starvation africa, orphans'. That'll get you going.
4. Message me with the results! I'm curious if this helps others as well.

Go do stuff!!

I woke up this morning knowing what I wanted for my life. Rather, I could say having a revelation on how God would have me live my life.

With loose roots. In a tent. Ready to follow a pillar of fire.

On the radio, I was hearing Bob Goff speak. He wrote a book called Love Does and I look forward to reading it. He's crazy! He's 'whimisical'! What a lovely thing to be for God.

Be ready and willing to make any sacrifice for the Lord. That good thing you were thinking of doing, do it now. That letter you wanted to write. Do it now. Telling your parents you love them. Do it now. Getting rid of the TV... do it now! The more I know, the more I want to know... Life is about learning. And I want to learn all I can plus more. I want to help people, to give all I can. This body is a tool, a mobility case for our soul. So do stuff!! While your soul has this body to borrow. Be ready when God says "go". Take a risk, your soul and your destiny have been purchased, what else do you have to lose?

I danced today...

... and had an epiphany. As i was swing dancing with an older gentleman, who seemed to enjoy spinning me as I was wearing a dress that flowing quite nicely when spun, i began to look around at the massive, swirling, flowing waves of people. My partner spun me and as I turned I noticed a friend I knew, who was dancing also... and I thought "I so appreciate who she is... she is just so beautiful and full of character". I spun and glanced again, I saw one who was very dear to me but far away and then someone who has also given much meaning to my life. I began to notice that every time I was spinning I saw someone else I knew, someone who's touched my life in some way.

It was like a garden, all of us. Dancing there together. We grow with each other and away from each other but always connected somehow and things never stay the same. Everyone follows the lead they are currently in and yet things can change in a blink. We are like a forest, tall trees sharing roots, providing shade and support. We are no more than breath in the wind.. but we are together. And every one of them, meaningful to me, i cannot seem to articulate.

Spinning... spinning...
SHE made me smile the other day. HER laugh makes me laugh. I remember what HE showed me about life. SHE makes me feel so at ease...

Riveted to one spot, spinning. How many more days will I get like this?  Then. It stops and life turns back on. I don't get many moments like that. Sometimes I feel like God shows me the inside of people. The soul side...

I am not typically a writer, but I had to share that moment.