Monday, January 2, 2017

i felt your arms


It was something strong 
Stronger than my worries
You pulled me down the the wet lawn
And I didn't care,
You were so much there. 

I felt your love
While you didn't let go
In the dark
While I struggled to get up
So warm and full 
More love than I was showing myself

Hovering still so strong
I let go the the damage 
Melted
Felt something 
You were so there
And you weren't leaving. 

Sing

Something new is here, 
drawing us apart.
I know that I can't sing,
But this is on my heart...

It's hard to stand up straight today. 
When I leave it's because I want you. 
If I could give my self to you, 
Would you never leave me too? 

I had a dream you left,
Left me standing there...
Because I was not worth 
Your thought, your love, your care... 

I cannot say I'm good, 
And if you leave that's fine,
Find your heart somewhere 
And I'll try to find mine.

It's hard to stand up straight today. 
When I leave it's because I want you. 
If I could give my self to you, 
Would you never leave me too? 

If we never see each other through, 
Maybe this path we follows ends,
Remember me in passing time,
Even if only as friends. 
My life is made of walls and waves. Colored by the lights of sky and caves. 
Reflections of the future and visions of the past, 
it's always been the little things in life that last. 
-
  My heart has made a conclusion,
About the utterance of your illusion. 
The spin of a glove, a roll of the sleeve, 
and all of my suspicion was granted seclusion.

  Lovely you were in word and rhyme,
pleasant, and all of your lies sublime. 
  But there was another story they all told me, 
lacking in luster and any kind of glory... 

  They saw what you were and I ignored the warning. 
Passed by the signs and enjoyed the warming. 
  Like a two sided joker, I was played the fool...
 And I only stayed to test the rules. 

  Rules I found were meant to be broken, 
the trick of the light with plastic words spoken. 
The cooler it became, it just wasn't the same. 
  When the spell is past, the magician will say, 
the fool only has herself to blame
I press my face against the mirror
And wish that it would sway...
Bending from this present world
I'd let it take me away. 

It has seen me through, 
my best and worst
Emotions show 
no lack of thirst. 

I start them up 
to shut them down,
The purpose of that, 
will never be found. 

I wash my face and close my eyes
And see this world with all its lies.
Beyond the mirror it must be better 
A window which inspired this letter 

So mirror, mirror on the wall,
Up on the counter, up I crawl,
Closer to my other half,
Merging as I start to laugh

Mirrors show no sympathy. 

Friday, March 11, 2016

All those who ever touched me, never planned to stay for long.
You poison Player,
You rich betrayer
Your game had its hold on me.

leaving

i never knew I was afraid of being left until i found you
leaving me again and again

actions speak louder than words when you come back
losing count of the times you turned away again

i don't show you that i care after my sleeping dreams of sadness
when i watch you walking away and realize i am dreaming reality

watching someones pain over losing a husband pieced the callus
when i realized that i had a taste of something that could never stay

confusion is worse than pain

so i'm leaving you today
with the thought that i can't say


Tuesday, December 8, 2015

Child thoughts

Before you loved me, I was just a child.
wishing you would hold me,

instead you thought you'd show me.
something I had never seen...

I wished that I could be a part of it,
but never got to be.

so for fear of living my life in vain,
I followed what you said.

For if i lost the chance to learn
my spirit would be dead.

like the pain of leaving, i suffered all your wrath
following your footsteps, trying out your path.

hypnotized by the sound of your song
Sometimes I was dragged along,

There were times i'd leave for weeks,
but mostly I was there for keeps,

When you learned about my wrongs,
you didn't want me to come along.

I have my path and you have yours.
each with an undying course.

Two paths we are, still traveling a line
Two paths still deeply intertwined.

Through time, something grew
back then, as I child I knew

that if I stood by your side,
someday I might have you.