Death is a strange thing... the fading of a light. It takes so much Faith. I struggle to trust what I believe to be true, that what lies on the other side is there. This is my personal fight, but because I refuse to not choose, I choose to believe.

Grandmas death will affect me in many ways, it already has. She was ripped from us, a gaping ugly hole is left where she once was the hub of our happiness as a family. I believe this was an attack from the devil  of who's power will be stripped away as we grow even stronger in our faith because of it. And im angry. not at God, but at the boldness of the devil that he thinks he can take us down. I want to focus on the joy of the people around me more, make tea in the morning instead of rushing, read my bible more than facebook, take time for family over work...

I want more of gramma style love.

It makes me cry while I write to think of how far she is from us, heaven is truly higher than earth. But God is the good that redeems. He doesn't always prevent but he restores. And she has truly been restored.

<3

Wait like Tango

In argentine tango, we woman wait. It is a male dominant dance. Traditionally the men are trained solo and the woman depend solely on the lead to create the dance when they come together. It's beautiful and terrible at the same for the woman who tends  to anticipate and feel that she  needs to work harder to succeed in the dance than she actually does. Oh what a relief when she learns to let go and follow. Oh what a joy when the man will direct her movements  with confidence.

This is beauty. The two are a tramendous machine.

Candles remind me of you. 

Stars burning brightly do too.

The soft of the night,

Consistent light,

they surprise me, remind me of you.

Lessons are offered for Tango,

I think that maybe you'll go. 

But an aphrodisiac 

Always brings me back

To lovely Avocados and Mango. 

Words also remind me of you.

Turns out what you said was true. 

That running so fast,

Won't make it last, 

The silence, it gives me a clue. 

i felt your arms

It was something strong 

Stronger than my worries

You pulled me down the the wet lawn

And I didn't care,

You were so much there. 

I felt your love

While you didn't let go

In the dark

While I struggled to get up

So warm and full 

More love than I was showing myself

Hovering still so strong

I let go the the damage 

Melted

Felt something 

You were so there

And you weren't leaving. 

Sing

Something new is here, 

drawing us apart.

I know that I can't sing,

But this is on my heart...

It's hard to stand up straight today. 

When I leave it's because I want you. 

If I could give my self to you, 

Would you never leave me too? 

I had a dream you left,

Left me standing there...

Because I was not worth 

Your thought, your love, your care... 

I cannot say I'm good, 

And if you leave that's fine,

Find your heart somewhere 

And I'll try to find mine.

It's hard to stand up straight today. 

When I leave it's because I want you. 

If I could give my self to you, 

Would you never leave me too? 

If we never see each other through, 

Maybe this path we follows ends,

Remember me in passing time,

Even if only as friends. 

My life is made of walls and waves. Colored by the lights of sky and caves. 

Reflections of the future and visions of the past, 

it's always been the little things in life that last. 

-

  My heart has made a conclusion,

About the utterance of your illusion. 

The spin of a glove, a roll of the sleeve, 

and all of my suspicion was granted seclusion.

  Lovely you were in word and rhyme,

pleasant, and all of your lies sublime. 

  But there was another story they all told me, 

lacking in luster and any kind of glory... 

  They saw what you were and I ignored the warning. 

Passed by the signs and enjoyed the warming. 

  Like a two sided joker, I was played the fool...

 And I only stayed to test the rules. 

  Rules I found were meant to be broken, 

the trick of the light with plastic words spoken. 

The cooler it became, it just wasn't the same. 

  When the spell is past, the magician will say, 

the fool only has herself to blame

I press my face against the mirror

And wish that it would sway...

Bending from this present world

I'd let it take me away. 

It has seen me through, 

my best and worst

Emotions show 

no lack of thirst. 

I start them up 

to shut them down,

The purpose of that, 

will never be found. 

I wash my face and close my eyes

And see this world with all its lies.

Beyond the mirror it must be better 

A window which inspired this letter 

So mirror, mirror on the wall,

Up on the counter, up I crawl,

Closer to my other half,

Merging as I start to laugh

Mirrors show no sympathy. 

All those who ever touched me, never planned to stay for long.
You poison Player,
You rich betrayer
Your game had its hold on me.