My heart feels... trashy. Thats the way I have to describe it. Needs a good God-fire to clean and purify...
Ahh! It is a lovely thing to blog, is it not? It is a lovely-er thing to talk to real people as well, which is what i've been doing for the past five hours... God is doing a work in me. And i had to ask for it... after he showed me the path I was on. I'm not as strong as I think I am. And it's hard to admit that I'm not doing a good job of putting him first... but when you realize that the shadow you've been following looks an awful lot like the world than it does like Jesus the error is kinda hard to deny.
So here I am. It's hard to go backwards... it really is. First thing that struck me this week: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Really? When was the last time I feared... or fretted over whether or not God would be pleased with what i'm thinking or doing? Yup. Point taken. Next thing: "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you." Ah. Well, then... I've been trying to add things to my life for the momentary highs of happiness and figuring that seeking God will fill in the spaces. Hmmm....
I'm needing a Re-Boot. A Spell-Check. A De-Tox. What ever you wanna call it... I'm inviting God to do a Spring Cleaning, no matter the cost. So we'll see what happens next.
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