A Time for everything.

 Time is a member of restless things,
a embellished song it presently sings.

Yet as requested a new bell rings...

 A fleeting thought, a fading flower,
the new years day, a mislead power.

 Serendipitously presumed
that the year is resumed.

 When Resolutions are gained,
Time is thought to be claimed.

 But Time will betray you.
Eclipse and rape you.
 As day fades to night,
and the darkness into light.

 And by the time,
the stars align,
 the years have gone,
left you alone.

 Then all at once,
your calendar ends...
 Now ask yourself,
will you have friends?

You'll witness those, who read it wrong.
 Mourn for those, who are withered and gone.
Remember now to seize the day,
 for the Time of Glory is rushing away.

Christmas Tide!

Reminisce of moments divine.
Kindle me with fire sublime.
A day of song, of verse, of rhyme...
Love resurrected, time after time.

Evening Riser

Celibate, my wings are wrought,
   beyond the lowly, begging thoughts.
Black my mirror from what I see,
   black silence is all I read.

A color drifts in with the wind,
   relief, forgiving of my sins.
Changing tides and blessed requiem.
   i'm not nearly who I thought i'd been.

 

December Lullaby

In the treetops, in the treetops
where that winter wind blows
rocked my lonely cradle,
all covered in snow...

A last expire, a cold desire
made me wonder at the stars.
Cool and crisp and beautiful
I wished it could be ours.

Silly sheep play all around.

When branches crack, i won't look down.


Then from the east, a warm bright heat,
befriended me that night.
And owls followed all my dreams
until the sky let light.

Incapabilities

Oh mirror of my personhood,
accursed yet divine.
A severed mast, a friend made foe,
an affection so sublime.

As a map,
with out a key,
so is the path,
that I can't see,

Perplexed by time,
beyond the pages,
heavy hearts,
go on for ages.

Living light cannot be earned,
but improvement can be learned.
Fresher, deeper... run from hell.
Proof by accolade, we'll learn well.  

Conflicted am I, to stand alone,
within this coffin made of stone.
But loved am I, by another power
Relieved my soul, in this late hour.

Forgiven but not forgotten.

What if the very thing we need the most is the one thing we are running from? If we have it backwards, the less comfort we have, the more we value people. The more hatred there is in the world, the stronger we learn to love. The more evil we see... the harder it is to deny it's opposite, a pure and holy God.

I have been forgiven. But by the presence of the Holy Spirit, a refining purpose to my life, He reminds me that I am not forgotten. The Lord has purpose for me yet, I have to believe... he has promised me.

Vision

When a land as blind as my eyes is before me, figures rise from the layer of ash. Flowing over my heart, I empty to it. I am risen with the rest. Light, soft and smooth and warmly falling... touching us in this monochromatic land. Blinking we move to it...

Leaving what's already lost.

~*~

Oh sing me a song of misty mornings, of horses black and white... of violins and fragrant things that melt into the night.

Defining the Defensive

Defensive: Psychology Constantly protecting oneself from criticism, exposure of one's shortcomings, or other real or perceived threats to the ego. (Prepared to withstand or counter aggression or attack.)

The three sectors of Defensiveness: 

Keeping something out: 

Cause: Constantly protecting oneself from criticism

Effect: Prepared to withstand

Keeping something in:

Cause: Fear of exposure of one's shortcomings

Effect: Attack

Reacting to attack:

Cause: Real or perceived threats to the ego

Effect: Counter aggression

Decay

Evicting my own aptitudes, cumbersomely composing fragments of satisfaction.
My thoughts they turn to writing, but the pictures aren't the same.

Afterwords.

After the Epiphany,
all is still. Released
warm and sweet. 

Lingering notions, a
palette of seeds. Absorbing
emotions to grow.

We find it in words,
in colors and verbs...
in confidentiality.

I am a Channel.

I am a Vessel. 

I am everything that does not stand still. 

Repression.

my immortal self is unimposing,
to express emotion, less enclosing.

Letting go is freedom found,
Midnight thoughts in a sleeping gown.

I saw the box that I once knew,
a world, which from the inside grew,
the paper walls it all came through...

Repressed no longer, in this late hour.
Resilient now, a soft fresh power.

Compulsories of the mind

Protruding signs of my mortality
recommend a slower pace.
Suggestions by thoughtful peers
that I forsake the race.

Many attempts to escalade
the qualm within my chest,
lacking all sapience,
and misunderstanding the rest.

Hallways.

The hallways of my heart,
 form a pattern as a whole.

Straight and twisted corridors,
reflections of my soul.

A house bent upon itself,
is one that cannot stand.

And when hallways are on fire,
they are as shifting sand.

Pain.

Why do I rather stay up and fight, when I know a dose of prayer and sleep will do me better.

You wonder why I stay professional all the time? Because either I control my emotions, or my emotions control me. Do you get that? Do you understand the danger and potential for harm that lies beneath the surface? This one day a month, it writhes and makes waves and wrecks havoc on my life. For one day, I cannot hardly keep control. Why would I let go if the paths of damage behind me has taught me to hold on...

Suppressing emotions has no positive results. Persuasion is only slightly better but replacement of those emotions with something Holy is the only true lasting remedy. Daily surrender and redemption is the one way to freedom...

But tonight, I will wrestle. I've been here before... i rather like the pain. I will fight until I have no strength left, clinging to the argument in a ridiculous manner... finally, in exhaustion I will let God have it... and then, then I will fall asleep.

A Pattern of Rhythms.

If the appearance of the world is subjected to the eyes you are seeing it through and who's shoes you are walking in... how then can we come to definite conclusions about the condition of the world? Of the matter of good and bad? Of the concept of time and relevance of matter? Are we purposeful or the product of happenchance? 

The concept of physical sight, can be compared to the concept of understanding truth. We make conclusions about our worldview by looking through different lenses, however that does not change the physical properties of that which we see... that is, the materiality of the object or matter on the other side of the lenses. One may be colorblind, and see only gray... yet that does not change the fact that the painting they are seeing has color, unless someone explains the fact or, better yet, the colorblind observer speaks to the artist himself for an explanation, even so never fully grasping the concept of color. The painting is the way the artist created it, regardless of the interpretation. 

What of contentment? Some people are blinded from all joy when life robs them of material things, while others intentionally separate themselves from all that causes comfort and become enlightened. How does anything receive attention unless it is out of the norm? We are surrounded by a pattern of rhythms. It is the means by which these rhythms are broken, or taken to the extreme, which gains attention. Because it is unusual. What is Rhythm and Order unless there is someone to set them in place?

There are two rhythms at place in the world that we can observe. The pattern of production and the pattern of destruction. When we see extremes in either area it receives attention. It can be also be called the conflict of good and evil. Evil can be explained as the lack of good. Just as dark is the lack of light. We can conclude by this, that because there is evil, it proves the existent of good. If we are in a dark room, we would not even know it was dark unless we had experienced light to compare it too. Similarly, silence is not a property, it is the lack of sound. Unless we knew what sound was, we could have no concept of silence. 

When a person loves someone who hates them, that is something out of the normal rhythm of the world. When someone rises from the dead, that is breaking the natural pattern. If God is good, then the lack of God must have a name of that which is in contrast to him, and that is what we've named 'Evil'. 

The fact that we have intelligence, reveals yet another idea and that is the concept of conscience. We have a choice to do good or evil, to have the ability to consider and wonder with curiousity is also out of the 'normal' pattern of the world. For a patterned, designed, rythmic, concious human being to conclude that there is no God, no Good and no Purpose in the world is to deny his own very existance. 

Why not get hurt.

Watching the barriers grow, not unlike a deer in headlights. It's a feeling like: "You'd better run like hell or you're going to get trapped." But if I run, i'll never know what would have happened if I stayed... is unsatisfied curiosity better that safety? Or will I find myself burned and be like: "Oh, so that's what happens."

Therefore.

2013

It will be a very intense year.

Therefore:

Soak in God's word each day, even when it becomes monotonous...
like canned peaches, it will taste good later.

Believe in healing and miracles,
understanding that sometimes they take time.

In hindsight, learn Insight.
In foresight, learn patience and a sense of humor.

For God knows the plans He has for you...

Torn between the Earth and the Sky

God help me, i'm terrified.

And He does, he always does. When faced with a choice: a stable job and a place to live or a risky but promising endeavor... what is there to do but pray.

If I stayed here on the ground, I'd always wonder what would have happened if I took the road to the sky. We always look up to the skies. But never down at the earth, which supports us daily.

When we look at the sky we wish we could go there. When in the sky, looking at earth we wonder at how far we've come. So for myself, the choice is obvious.

The Earth is stable, yes. But do I find my security in security? No. I find it in God... in Yahweh.  And He resides in the skies as well.