Well, perhaps the Mayans were wrong.
:-: It's almost the end of the year. And such memories... such colors, vivid and clear. It is so strange to see where I have come from. So beautiful to know how far i've grown. My blessed Father in heaven waters the ground of my soul with a fragrant mist. His love for me over bounds my imagination.
:-: Piece by piece I surrender. He calls, I answer... I have learned to love his voice. Safety, not for my body, but for my soul. Beautiful mystery shrouded in light. I see the hue with eyes not from the earth. Blind, mute and deaf I am reaching for Him... I call, He answers. He came to my rescue and I... I understand a bit more, what it means to Trust.
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Sunday, December 9, 2012
The strange faces of attraction.
There is nothing new under the sun.
What cannot be forgotten will be learned.
Do not fear the unknown (A hope deferred rots the soul)
without risk there would be no growth.
but a longing fulfilled is a Tree of Life.
Holy God above, I sit at your feet and beg that you would teach me...
Sunday, November 11, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
Honestly
Honestly.
In real life, I am generally quite professional. So often, I find myself needing an outlet for my emotion and a place to be real... I find a release by emerging into a project. This is the best and only way for me... that and I blog. Blogging my thoughts and feelings to the web is not dangerous as some would think, nor is it unhealthy by the way I use it.
I use blogging as a way to not be afraid of what I feel. To box up yourself yields terrible and unhealthy consequences. I love honesty but, as we all do, I have different ways to deal with frustration. I have select people that I speak to about issues in life... but God is the only one to hear my soul's groaning.
Do not be afraid of who you are. Find your passion. Trust God.
In real life, I am generally quite professional. So often, I find myself needing an outlet for my emotion and a place to be real... I find a release by emerging into a project. This is the best and only way for me... that and I blog. Blogging my thoughts and feelings to the web is not dangerous as some would think, nor is it unhealthy by the way I use it.
I use blogging as a way to not be afraid of what I feel. To box up yourself yields terrible and unhealthy consequences. I love honesty but, as we all do, I have different ways to deal with frustration. I have select people that I speak to about issues in life... but God is the only one to hear my soul's groaning.
Do not be afraid of who you are. Find your passion. Trust God.
Monday, October 22, 2012
A really nice piece of art.
Someone said today, that I was a piece of art. As a person, I was like a nice piece of art.
A piece of art is not that way by itself, it is created by an artist. I am not this way by accident, I want to shine who Christ is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-e32RquBEM
A piece of art is not that way by itself, it is created by an artist. I am not this way by accident, I want to shine who Christ is.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-e32RquBEM
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Temperament.
It is within Daylight that I hide,
Come see me where I lie,
In my melancholic state.
In two is where i'm found,
Though, the other makes not a sound,
while I stand in Confidentiality.
Smiling, yet I see,
the one that also is me,
trembling in a listless form.
Silent and strong and breaking free,
Lifted on winds across the sea,
Knowing not, any boundaries.
She keeps me alive, the two are we.
Come see me where I lie,
In my melancholic state.
In two is where i'm found,
Though, the other makes not a sound,
while I stand in Confidentiality.
Smiling, yet I see,
the one that also is me,
trembling in a listless form.
Silent and strong and breaking free,
Lifted on winds across the sea,
Knowing not, any boundaries.
She keeps me alive, the two are we.
Is a page made blank on purpose?
Are there clues in these lies?
Watching as she flies,
Reassurance of design.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Priorities, Purpose and Personalities.
How to accomplish goals.
This is a great mystery to me. How to acomplish goals, and how to prioritize them. Of the four personality groups I am a strong Meloncholy Choleric, which means I naturally priotitize my work over anything else. I must make a mental effort to include myself in public events and family gatherings or I will lead a very unbalanced life. I consider my body a slave and a tool which can be forced to produce excellent or non excellent work. It's up to my brain to push and make conscious decisions which my body aught to follow without questions. Sore muscles are no excuse. This is the way I think, and this is the temperament I have to work with when I make efforts to balance my own personality. We are born with a temperament, and (with the Holy Spirit's help) we can manipulate our personality.
Personality: Our 'born-with' Temperament, which is then manipulated and shaped according to our life's experiences.
I've been considering the effects of what can be described as Round-thinking, which can be described as counter-intuitive thinking for the desired effect. Round thinking is risky. But when you find what works, usually you will find a pattern of which the results can be dependable. It is similar to being in a boat and seeing a fish. You could dive in after it. But you are better off by thinking of how a fish will think, making predictions according to the time of day that fish bite, where a fish is going to be in the water according to the bend of light, considering depth of water, the kind of bait you have, then making the action of throwing your line in the right way... and even then the fish may not bite. BUT if you are good at these things, often they will.
Direct-line thinking. Cause and effect. You want someone to move over, you push them over.
Round thinking: Opposite psychology. You act interested in someone, then walk away. Yup, we've all had this.
Perhaps not the most explanatory examples, but will give you an idea of how i'm going to be using these terms.
So, according to my TEMPERAMENT, (not my personality) I naturally try to get as much done as possible in the least amount of time. This leads to chaos typically. I used to find pride that I could juggle the kitchen utensils, dry my hair, finish my homework and do my makeup by alternating the tasks and never wasting a second, but I also found that things were more easily wasted and broken by the haste. I concluded, that the waste is not worth the effort and there must be a better way to get things done in the fasted amount of time possible.
That brings me to my next point: To go faster, go slower.
This is Round-thinking. Now let me define 'go slower'. There are many projects that we often want to accomplish, often in the shortest about of time possible. Why could this not be done? There has to be a way. What I am finding is that there are ways, or i'm going to call them "Tools", to create a faster success to your goals.
1) Routine: This is a tool that you can insert to many areas of your life. The definition of routine is: a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed procedure." You can take ANY area of your life and create a standard procedure for the actions involved as well as the problem solving process for any issues that arise. This will not only give you predictability to the solution in most situations, it will speed up the process because you will not be spending mental time working through how you should re-act to a problem. It's been pre-thought out already.
Example; receiving phone calls is messy, you jot down notes helter skelter, post its are everywhere and you don't know which is what. The plan: Caller ID filter all calls, prioritize what calls you will take and when. Take a small calendar and pen with your cell when you are out of the house and transfer everything to a master calendar when you return. (Now I do realize that smartphone do a lot of this already... yadda yadda yadda. You get my point I hope.)
Conclusion: Make a plan, stick with it no matter what. Make the plan the priority.
May I make a point, that innovation (change) and routine (repetitive) are opposites. Routine was very hard for me to accept into my life. For some people on the opposite end of the Temperament spectrum, change is one of the hardest things to accept. Alright, on we go...
2) Written goals. Write them down!! I don't know how many times I emphasize that plans need to be on paper. You will see more problems before they arise if you give yourself a spreadsheet on your goals and how you will accomplish them. Document it. You can also be encouraged when you see where you've come and where you hope to go. Have a mission statement for your life.
I will finish this paper later, i'm going to visit a friend at church today. (One of the lessons i've learned, keeping up relationships should always be a high priority.) If what I wrote so far causes you to think or you have input do not hesitate to comment! Always be open to learning, you'll be surprised by what you find.
Next inspiration to document: Helping people understand who they are through horses.
This is a great mystery to me. How to acomplish goals, and how to prioritize them. Of the four personality groups I am a strong Meloncholy Choleric, which means I naturally priotitize my work over anything else. I must make a mental effort to include myself in public events and family gatherings or I will lead a very unbalanced life. I consider my body a slave and a tool which can be forced to produce excellent or non excellent work. It's up to my brain to push and make conscious decisions which my body aught to follow without questions. Sore muscles are no excuse. This is the way I think, and this is the temperament I have to work with when I make efforts to balance my own personality. We are born with a temperament, and (with the Holy Spirit's help) we can manipulate our personality.
Personality: Our 'born-with' Temperament, which is then manipulated and shaped according to our life's experiences.
I've been considering the effects of what can be described as Round-thinking, which can be described as counter-intuitive thinking for the desired effect. Round thinking is risky. But when you find what works, usually you will find a pattern of which the results can be dependable. It is similar to being in a boat and seeing a fish. You could dive in after it. But you are better off by thinking of how a fish will think, making predictions according to the time of day that fish bite, where a fish is going to be in the water according to the bend of light, considering depth of water, the kind of bait you have, then making the action of throwing your line in the right way... and even then the fish may not bite. BUT if you are good at these things, often they will.
Direct-line thinking. Cause and effect. You want someone to move over, you push them over.
Round thinking: Opposite psychology. You act interested in someone, then walk away. Yup, we've all had this.
Perhaps not the most explanatory examples, but will give you an idea of how i'm going to be using these terms.
So, according to my TEMPERAMENT, (not my personality) I naturally try to get as much done as possible in the least amount of time. This leads to chaos typically. I used to find pride that I could juggle the kitchen utensils, dry my hair, finish my homework and do my makeup by alternating the tasks and never wasting a second, but I also found that things were more easily wasted and broken by the haste. I concluded, that the waste is not worth the effort and there must be a better way to get things done in the fasted amount of time possible.
That brings me to my next point: To go faster, go slower.
This is Round-thinking. Now let me define 'go slower'. There are many projects that we often want to accomplish, often in the shortest about of time possible. Why could this not be done? There has to be a way. What I am finding is that there are ways, or i'm going to call them "Tools", to create a faster success to your goals.
1) Routine: This is a tool that you can insert to many areas of your life. The definition of routine is: a sequence of actions regularly followed; a fixed procedure." You can take ANY area of your life and create a standard procedure for the actions involved as well as the problem solving process for any issues that arise. This will not only give you predictability to the solution in most situations, it will speed up the process because you will not be spending mental time working through how you should re-act to a problem. It's been pre-thought out already.
Example; receiving phone calls is messy, you jot down notes helter skelter, post its are everywhere and you don't know which is what. The plan: Caller ID filter all calls, prioritize what calls you will take and when. Take a small calendar and pen with your cell when you are out of the house and transfer everything to a master calendar when you return. (Now I do realize that smartphone do a lot of this already... yadda yadda yadda. You get my point I hope.)
Conclusion: Make a plan, stick with it no matter what. Make the plan the priority.
May I make a point, that innovation (change) and routine (repetitive) are opposites. Routine was very hard for me to accept into my life. For some people on the opposite end of the Temperament spectrum, change is one of the hardest things to accept. Alright, on we go...
2) Written goals. Write them down!! I don't know how many times I emphasize that plans need to be on paper. You will see more problems before they arise if you give yourself a spreadsheet on your goals and how you will accomplish them. Document it. You can also be encouraged when you see where you've come and where you hope to go. Have a mission statement for your life.
I will finish this paper later, i'm going to visit a friend at church today. (One of the lessons i've learned, keeping up relationships should always be a high priority.) If what I wrote so far causes you to think or you have input do not hesitate to comment! Always be open to learning, you'll be surprised by what you find.
Next inspiration to document: Helping people understand who they are through horses.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Monday, October 1, 2012
Worship
I will worship You...
with all my heart (My soul's longing, my love, my intentions, my repentance and surrender)
with all of my mind (My physical brain, the decisions I make, the time I spend with You: meditating on Your Word)
with all of my strength (Till my body is exhausted, working to serve the least of these, to be ready for what you ask of me)
~More Love, More Power, more of You in my life~
with all my heart (My soul's longing, my love, my intentions, my repentance and surrender)
with all of my mind (My physical brain, the decisions I make, the time I spend with You: meditating on Your Word)
with all of my strength (Till my body is exhausted, working to serve the least of these, to be ready for what you ask of me)
~More Love, More Power, more of You in my life~
Friday, September 28, 2012
Embers.
Watched the night fill with fiery orbs tonight.
I will trust in the plan of God, of my Adonai. For by him and to him and through him are all things. I cannot compete in this world, of the work of others. But I can do all that I can with what I have, to be the most that I can to honor God. Every light is like a thought, a pleasantry, a re-occurring statement that I am loved... and there are a lot of lights in my life right now.
And what of this? I do not wish to be revisited by my mistakes of the past. More so, do I wish to have control over every part of my emotions and feelings. I will not be subject to them. This is a difficult case to struggle with, but the struggle is my own. There comes a point when pain is a comforting thing.
Moving on is essential. Growing up is mandatory. Letting my heart be at war with itself is familiar ground and there is nothing I haven't been brought through alive before. I can only wonder that there is a God who loves me, who wraps me in His arms. And that is the place where I belong.
I will trust in the plan of God, of my Adonai. For by him and to him and through him are all things. I cannot compete in this world, of the work of others. But I can do all that I can with what I have, to be the most that I can to honor God. Every light is like a thought, a pleasantry, a re-occurring statement that I am loved... and there are a lot of lights in my life right now.
And what of this? I do not wish to be revisited by my mistakes of the past. More so, do I wish to have control over every part of my emotions and feelings. I will not be subject to them. This is a difficult case to struggle with, but the struggle is my own. There comes a point when pain is a comforting thing.
Moving on is essential. Growing up is mandatory. Letting my heart be at war with itself is familiar ground and there is nothing I haven't been brought through alive before. I can only wonder that there is a God who loves me, who wraps me in His arms. And that is the place where I belong.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Holding...
"Lord, i'm coming back to your promises... one more time. Lord that's all I can hold on to."
Every person in the world, struggles. In our fallen state, we all have our own great insecurities that reflects our upbringing... all of us, but in different forms. Whether it be the need to have everything explained; coming up with an explanation if none is currently known... whether it is the need to be loved, regardless of who it comes from... the need to be accepted... respected... known... acknowledged...
I've been disappointed by many people in this life. We all have, some of us, more than others. We so often run from God when things happen... but the one I can hold on to, is Christ. The God/Man. And he suffered too... There will be a day with this faith will be proclaimed as foolishness. There is a spirit of the antichrist in the world already.
Chose today whom you will serve.
Every person in the world, struggles. In our fallen state, we all have our own great insecurities that reflects our upbringing... all of us, but in different forms. Whether it be the need to have everything explained; coming up with an explanation if none is currently known... whether it is the need to be loved, regardless of who it comes from... the need to be accepted... respected... known... acknowledged...
I've been disappointed by many people in this life. We all have, some of us, more than others. We so often run from God when things happen... but the one I can hold on to, is Christ. The God/Man. And he suffered too... There will be a day with this faith will be proclaimed as foolishness. There is a spirit of the antichrist in the world already.
Chose today whom you will serve.
Saturday, September 8, 2012
::cloudgazer::
Things ping my heart... everyday. My G-d tells me he loves me... everyday. He sends me inspiration, friends, daily food.... he takes care of me and more, everyday! Why am I so blessed? I want to pass it on... it is too much for only me.
I love you Lord and I lift my voice...
He is my Adonai, my Lord of all, the Lord of Hosts is his name. Did you know when I was conceived He saw me? His Eye is on a cluster of cells. Because He made it. The universe is spinning and whirling and He watches me. He gave me knowledge... and I Love Him. The whole earth sings with his praise! Along with groans from the curse of sin.. which He will set right again.
And all of the people, of G-d sing along... Amen!!
A white world, a lot of white... is what I see. One day we will all wear white, after everything has burned away. It will be made new again.
Open the eyes of my heart Lord, I want to see you.
A lot of love, is what I feel... what is this kindness? Jahovah Jirah, let me share all that I have... let me see them, as you see them. Let this be more than a thought, but an overflow of actions as your Love, your red, redeeming love inhabits my soul.
Amen.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Sunrise, Sunrise.
Delicate little memories are floating right through me, like white whispers in my soul.
Sunday, September 2, 2012
on earth...
There's so much more.
We... we do not know what real need is. Read Katie Davis' book, and you'll start to get a taste for it. We... do not quite understand love as well as we should. Read Love Does, and you may find that Jesus is here to wreck all we thought we knew about Love.
I pray that my disease of worldliness is not without remedy. May God be praised in it all!
We... we do not know what real need is. Read Katie Davis' book, and you'll start to get a taste for it. We... do not quite understand love as well as we should. Read Love Does, and you may find that Jesus is here to wreck all we thought we knew about Love.
I pray that my disease of worldliness is not without remedy. May God be praised in it all!
Sunday, August 26, 2012
Normal?
What is normal? Christ said, "You've heard it said, but I tell you this..."
My failures and weaknesses haunt me. I am a Martha... consumed with work and projects. I've tried to be exactly how I should... I want to be an affective speaker, loving with my family, influential with my friends... I am all too aware of what i'm not good at however. I fail at having meaningful conversations without making it awkward. I chase people away with my bluntness. I watch those who are good at loving and listening... and realize how stained I am with pride. Starting what I can't finish, I disappoint. Hoping to be noticed my my talents, I resort to building what I love to do. Although finding that a compliment, though sweet, is not satisfying.
The fact is, the more I try to be something the more unnatural it is. Therefore, can I see my failures are a gift? If I could do the things I wanted, I would be filled with self satisfaction. What need have I for God when I can use my own resources? What must I do to overcome this?
I resolve that there is nothing I can do without Christ. My only pursuit is to fight this nature of mine. No, no... that is not right either. I can't even do that on my own. Is there nothing I can fight against? I do so want to struggle with something. It is my nature to struggle. I suppose then, it can be concluded that I am fighting my nature to fight. What a retched person I find myself contained in. When my soul is released is when I will find the end of this complex problem.
Baby, I was born this way.
Being from a line of sinful people all the way to Adam, it's just something I shall have to deal with. Humbling myself to the Christ, the One who saves is my only salvation from the world and it's lies and traps. Worldly pleasures are overrated... I'm living with the Lamb now. Inconsistency is my constant friend.. but if writing is what gets me on the right path once again, I welcome the chance to tap the keys.
My failures and weaknesses haunt me. I am a Martha... consumed with work and projects. I've tried to be exactly how I should... I want to be an affective speaker, loving with my family, influential with my friends... I am all too aware of what i'm not good at however. I fail at having meaningful conversations without making it awkward. I chase people away with my bluntness. I watch those who are good at loving and listening... and realize how stained I am with pride. Starting what I can't finish, I disappoint. Hoping to be noticed my my talents, I resort to building what I love to do. Although finding that a compliment, though sweet, is not satisfying.
The fact is, the more I try to be something the more unnatural it is. Therefore, can I see my failures are a gift? If I could do the things I wanted, I would be filled with self satisfaction. What need have I for God when I can use my own resources? What must I do to overcome this?
I resolve that there is nothing I can do without Christ. My only pursuit is to fight this nature of mine. No, no... that is not right either. I can't even do that on my own. Is there nothing I can fight against? I do so want to struggle with something. It is my nature to struggle. I suppose then, it can be concluded that I am fighting my nature to fight. What a retched person I find myself contained in. When my soul is released is when I will find the end of this complex problem.
Baby, I was born this way.
Being from a line of sinful people all the way to Adam, it's just something I shall have to deal with. Humbling myself to the Christ, the One who saves is my only salvation from the world and it's lies and traps. Worldly pleasures are overrated... I'm living with the Lamb now. Inconsistency is my constant friend.. but if writing is what gets me on the right path once again, I welcome the chance to tap the keys.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Morning!
I woke up this morning, and knew what I wanted. And what i believe God wants for me.
I've always struggled with where i'm supposed to go in life. I feel, I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me... what am I supposed to choose to do though? This question has been a constant burden to me. But I woke up to hearing Toby Mac on the radio. He loves God. He loves what he does and he does it all for the Glory of God. He puts his family first. He praises God with his work. He witnesses to the reason for his happiness. That is what I want to model my life after.
As Toby says, I want God to steal the show.
I've always struggled with where i'm supposed to go in life. I feel, I CAN do all things through Christ who strengthens me... what am I supposed to choose to do though? This question has been a constant burden to me. But I woke up to hearing Toby Mac on the radio. He loves God. He loves what he does and he does it all for the Glory of God. He puts his family first. He praises God with his work. He witnesses to the reason for his happiness. That is what I want to model my life after.
As Toby says, I want God to steal the show.
Wednesday, August 15, 2012
Project: Action
Phase one: Determine a direction.
I'm learning to follow my gut feeling, which, when you get to the core of it, is relatively easy to follow... but not so easy to follow through. My soul seems to know what to do, but the outside of me has to deal with the work and consequences of putting these things in to action.
I now more fully understand what is meant by "the Spirit is willing, but the body is oh-so-weak." (emphasis added)
I'm learning to follow my gut feeling, which, when you get to the core of it, is relatively easy to follow... but not so easy to follow through. My soul seems to know what to do, but the outside of me has to deal with the work and consequences of putting these things in to action.
I now more fully understand what is meant by "the Spirit is willing, but the body is oh-so-weak." (emphasis added)
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Hellooo!!
Hm, long time no blog! Haha... yep. Life got busy again. How it does that, I don't know!?
Several things I wanted to happen this summer, won't happen. But a lot has happened and then some! So excited to see whats going to happen next. God is teaching me to let go.. of everything. I feel ready for something, not sure what yet. I want to help people with my talents. Praying for a direction and confirmation... waiting! And working while I wait!
Several things I wanted to happen this summer, won't happen. But a lot has happened and then some! So excited to see whats going to happen next. God is teaching me to let go.. of everything. I feel ready for something, not sure what yet. I want to help people with my talents. Praying for a direction and confirmation... waiting! And working while I wait!
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
pain.
My soul is strained, a loathsome fear and an annoying cross of passion and frustration. My heart hurts and lumps in my throat cause me to wonder... why i still feel as much?
Why on earth do I still care.
Why on earth do I still care.
A greater purpose
You know what? I have many dreams. I am always putting so much pressure on myself to perform to maximum capacity and as a result i'm getting weary and uninspired. I also get a lot done though. But how far am I willing to go? And what is the greater purpose? Where's that balance?
I found another dream deep in my heart... I dream of having a family someday. I dream of saying less "I"s and more "we"s. To live and laugh and learn all over again, in a home well worked in and aged with use from children and life.
There's only so much you can learn, until it's time to just do it in real life.
I found another dream deep in my heart... I dream of having a family someday. I dream of saying less "I"s and more "we"s. To live and laugh and learn all over again, in a home well worked in and aged with use from children and life.
There's only so much you can learn, until it's time to just do it in real life.
Monday, July 9, 2012
Lost in Corrosive, Caustic Chaos.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNiD9M59FQE <-- This is neat. You should listen to this neato music while you read.
With all this viral stuff circulating on FB and the new and all popular Pintrest... I feel that our online lives will need a serious overhaul and clutter cleaning soon. SO much stuff! Why, one could spend an entire week just keeping up on peoples lives. And.. they do.
Simplicity. Do we know what it means to say no? Does it not matter that valuable time is being taken from our lives and families? Should a business feel that it's only option is to add to and compete among the media saturated online networking? And can a simplified business, stay in business these days without chasing the appetite and approval of online addicts?
Hmmmm.
With all this viral stuff circulating on FB and the new and all popular Pintrest... I feel that our online lives will need a serious overhaul and clutter cleaning soon. SO much stuff! Why, one could spend an entire week just keeping up on peoples lives. And.. they do.
Simplicity. Do we know what it means to say no? Does it not matter that valuable time is being taken from our lives and families? Should a business feel that it's only option is to add to and compete among the media saturated online networking? And can a simplified business, stay in business these days without chasing the appetite and approval of online addicts?
Hmmmm.
Saturday, July 7, 2012
Musings at Midnight.
You know, sometimes when we are fixated on something... when we want something so bad, God will with hold it from us.. to see if we really love Him first. And sometimes, when we let everything go... we are surprised at how is given back to us. The best thing is, to learn to be content whatever the circumstances. When we're not chasing things willy nilly, we give God room to lead in our lives. ;)
Thursday, July 5, 2012
Why is the music so LOUD?
http://youtu.be/i0MlpEiJiIo
My music is loud, because I want to live and experience life to the fullest. I believe in letting go of everything I have, in not fearing death, in collapsing in the arms of a loving, intimate, patient heavenly Father.
And for those who have a hard time hearing what the heck i'm saying because of the music turned up to high, i'm trying to recommend that you read this book! --> "Love Does" by Bob Goff.
I hope it will inspire you like it has me... the chapter I was reading today was about Don Valencia, a friend of the author. He is highly cool and has been promptly added to my 'very inspirational peoples' list.
My music is loud, because I want to live and experience life to the fullest. I believe in letting go of everything I have, in not fearing death, in collapsing in the arms of a loving, intimate, patient heavenly Father.
And for those who have a hard time hearing what the heck i'm saying because of the music turned up to high, i'm trying to recommend that you read this book! --> "Love Does" by Bob Goff.
I hope it will inspire you like it has me... the chapter I was reading today was about Don Valencia, a friend of the author. He is highly cool and has been promptly added to my 'very inspirational peoples' list.
Wednesday, July 4, 2012
Purpose driven.
God has created me for a certain purpose and with specific ability. It is not to look cute and be pleasant all the time (which is once what I though was required for me, as for all woman), I now know that my calling is to work with what I have to my maximum efficiency, to create beauty and to be a mentor and friend to all who come across my path. I accept fully what I am and find complete Joy in doing what I was purposed for. In my Joy I praise the name of Jesus and give all honor and glory to God.
Friday, June 29, 2012
A Grand Idea.
God is soo GOOD! I have a Grand Idea... and it's not me thats writing it. I'm feeling this out, but I think that perhaps... this is God speaking to my heart. Perhaps this, is where all the talents God's given me will pour into one Grand Idea! Please pray for wisdom for me...
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Not gonna make it, etc...
God, I feel like your David... with diarrhea of the mouth. Praising you one moment, and crushed in defeat the next. (Perhaps i'm out of iron and just needs to eat some red meat. Supposedly this can help personality problems.)
So, what do I wear when i'm perplexed? I wear red tanks with camo pants obviously and thats precisely what I have on. God's thrown a few curveballs my way and I know it's to teach me something... but going through the process of seemingly climbing an unknown number of steps in the pitch black is becoming tiring. Wondering if the last step is here... or there... how much longer I have to go. Would you like to know why I am going stir crazy? Issue one: I am currently handicapped. Tendonitis is it's name and therefore I cannot paint, I cannot ride, I cannot do anything that involves my right hand. Issue the second: I don't know how to be more or less than myself. And I feel the need to be more polite and less blunt than I usually am. This is either a really good or really bad thing. I need God in this area... he's working on me. Issue the third: I cannot seem to go to bed on time. Personal limit: 11:30pm. Current time? 12:30!?
Well, the first issue has been found: What does a workaholic do when the shopping is done and everything at home is in place and the hand is out-of-order? Answer: RUN!! I'm a runner now, if run/walking a mile counts.
Issue the third is about to be remedied.
So, what do I wear when i'm perplexed? I wear red tanks with camo pants obviously and thats precisely what I have on. God's thrown a few curveballs my way and I know it's to teach me something... but going through the process of seemingly climbing an unknown number of steps in the pitch black is becoming tiring. Wondering if the last step is here... or there... how much longer I have to go. Would you like to know why I am going stir crazy? Issue one: I am currently handicapped. Tendonitis is it's name and therefore I cannot paint, I cannot ride, I cannot do anything that involves my right hand. Issue the second: I don't know how to be more or less than myself. And I feel the need to be more polite and less blunt than I usually am. This is either a really good or really bad thing. I need God in this area... he's working on me. Issue the third: I cannot seem to go to bed on time. Personal limit: 11:30pm. Current time? 12:30!?
Well, the first issue has been found: What does a workaholic do when the shopping is done and everything at home is in place and the hand is out-of-order? Answer: RUN!! I'm a runner now, if run/walking a mile counts.
Issue the third is about to be remedied.
Good Afternoon
MAN i've been depressing lately! RE-diculous!!
"The secret in riding is to do few things right. The more one does, the less one succeeds. The less one does, the more one succeeds" (N.Oliveira) Hm, does this ring true in life? I believe it does... less is more!
"The secret in riding is to do few things right. The more one does, the less one succeeds. The less one does, the more one succeeds" (N.Oliveira) Hm, does this ring true in life? I believe it does... less is more!
Thursday, June 21, 2012
Indeed.
"A man who is not after God's heart, should not be after mine."
I've always liked this and i've held on to it. But something came to my attention today:
Am I still striving for God's approval?
I thought I was after God's heart... do people, particularly men, see me and wonder wether I follow Christ or not? This thought hit me today, struck a cord of fear.
I've always liked this and i've held on to it. But something came to my attention today:
Am I still striving for God's approval?
I thought I was after God's heart... do people, particularly men, see me and wonder wether I follow Christ or not? This thought hit me today, struck a cord of fear.
I struggle.
To put it bluntly.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
God help me, i'm impossible.
God help me in the peace, that I might not be too content and stop serving you.
God help me in the sorrow, when fears overwhelm and threaten my loyalty to you.
God help me in my doubt, when I wonder why I am this way.
Fear of my own personality has gripped me. I have to open up, yet I can't. I always open up, yet I shouldn't. I'm angered by my fear and afraid of my anger. I've always been proud of being in control, but how can I control my pride?
How can I control this? I can't. I love God with all my heart or at least i'm trying my best. I'm so filled with self doubt right now. I need to rest in God's love again.
God help me in the sorrow, when fears overwhelm and threaten my loyalty to you.
God help me in my doubt, when I wonder why I am this way.
Fear of my own personality has gripped me. I have to open up, yet I can't. I always open up, yet I shouldn't. I'm angered by my fear and afraid of my anger. I've always been proud of being in control, but how can I control my pride?
How can I control this? I can't. I love God with all my heart or at least i'm trying my best. I'm so filled with self doubt right now. I need to rest in God's love again.
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Musings.
Father forgive me, for I know not what I do.
Your child,
Jenn.
I don't know what i'm doing. My mind is a net in the wind, catching all sorts of ideas and thoughts... i take them each and study them. Analyzing wether they are worth keeping and then where I should keep them at. Perhaps they belong on the back burner, perhaps at the front door. My doings are always in a fluctuating balance of positive and negative, concerning my intake of my environment and how I chose to react to it.
I can't, or at least shouldn't, allow myself to critique the church. I can, or at least should try to, implore the church to become re-spirited. And I, being the least of these, cannot hardly do so without being convicted of my own idleness. Therefore I do nothing. But Love does things, so on I go...
So often being in a church building bothers me. So much money for projectors and salaries, such expensive furnishings! Negative. But what can I say? I am not a pastor or even substantially educated in the aspects of religious and biblical knowledge. If I can be in charge of one thing, it is the way I live my life and how I will allow myself to react to situations. A little less Negative. In fact, I will choose to see what IS working in the church knowing that complaining will only create offensive reactions. A person's heart needs to be reunited with Christ, only then can the Spirit direct their decisions. So I come to my main point: I can only implore that we, as individuals in the church would walk closer in our relationship with God.
Cause -> Effect = Salvation -> Good works. As the effect cannot create or come before the cause, so good works cannot give birth to salvation.
---
Are you ready for more? Because I've been having thought hurricanes all week this week.
1) What is truth? Look past the advertisements.
Use your head and let your heart follow... emotions are aimless and most often cannot be trusted, so keep a balance. Radio and TV Commercials exploit the emotions so always question their motives. Morals and Christian Living is currently not in style, so watch yourself and be careful what you let into your mind and heart.
2) Don't read the bible for info, read it for application.
I heard a good point today at church: "Make the gospel a life study. So often we listen to ourselves instead of speaking to ourselves. We need to see how we are acting from the outside."
3) Complaining too often turns into gossip.
Complaining is fun, true and can help relieve stress in a bad situation. But there's a fine line between distressing about something and gossip. You have no right to complain if you are not doing anything to help the situation you are complaining about, communication is essential... and idle talk damages relationships.
4) "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mahatma Ghandi
Ghandi is very observant and correct. This is very true. And his conclusion is the point... we are all, hopelessly sinful, mistake ridden people. We desperately need a perfect Christ to lead us and to save us. Life is a constant renewal so lets strive to be like Christ.. but accept that only He is perfect.
5) Correction is not rejection, it is direction.
Hm, yeah. I'm finding it is always better to see situations from the involved individuals perspective and to ask, "Are they right?" Defuse critical conversations by controlling your own reactions.
6) Watch that you don't idolize Success and Business, remember that money is a tool. People are the treasure.
People, living flesh and blood and soul are the ones who feel and need nurturing. People rarely remember what you say or do... they will more often remember how you made them feel.
2 Peter 1:5-7 " For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_6JQDsbtlM
Your child,
Jenn.
I don't know what i'm doing. My mind is a net in the wind, catching all sorts of ideas and thoughts... i take them each and study them. Analyzing wether they are worth keeping and then where I should keep them at. Perhaps they belong on the back burner, perhaps at the front door. My doings are always in a fluctuating balance of positive and negative, concerning my intake of my environment and how I chose to react to it.
I can't, or at least shouldn't, allow myself to critique the church. I can, or at least should try to, implore the church to become re-spirited. And I, being the least of these, cannot hardly do so without being convicted of my own idleness. Therefore I do nothing. But Love does things, so on I go...
So often being in a church building bothers me. So much money for projectors and salaries, such expensive furnishings! Negative. But what can I say? I am not a pastor or even substantially educated in the aspects of religious and biblical knowledge. If I can be in charge of one thing, it is the way I live my life and how I will allow myself to react to situations. A little less Negative. In fact, I will choose to see what IS working in the church knowing that complaining will only create offensive reactions. A person's heart needs to be reunited with Christ, only then can the Spirit direct their decisions. So I come to my main point: I can only implore that we, as individuals in the church would walk closer in our relationship with God.
Cause -> Effect = Salvation -> Good works. As the effect cannot create or come before the cause, so good works cannot give birth to salvation.
---
Are you ready for more? Because I've been having thought hurricanes all week this week.
1) What is truth? Look past the advertisements.
Use your head and let your heart follow... emotions are aimless and most often cannot be trusted, so keep a balance. Radio and TV Commercials exploit the emotions so always question their motives. Morals and Christian Living is currently not in style, so watch yourself and be careful what you let into your mind and heart.
2) Don't read the bible for info, read it for application.
I heard a good point today at church: "Make the gospel a life study. So often we listen to ourselves instead of speaking to ourselves. We need to see how we are acting from the outside."
3) Complaining too often turns into gossip.
Complaining is fun, true and can help relieve stress in a bad situation. But there's a fine line between distressing about something and gossip. You have no right to complain if you are not doing anything to help the situation you are complaining about, communication is essential... and idle talk damages relationships.
4) "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." Mahatma Ghandi
Ghandi is very observant and correct. This is very true. And his conclusion is the point... we are all, hopelessly sinful, mistake ridden people. We desperately need a perfect Christ to lead us and to save us. Life is a constant renewal so lets strive to be like Christ.. but accept that only He is perfect.
5) Correction is not rejection, it is direction.
Hm, yeah. I'm finding it is always better to see situations from the involved individuals perspective and to ask, "Are they right?" Defuse critical conversations by controlling your own reactions.
6) Watch that you don't idolize Success and Business, remember that money is a tool. People are the treasure.
People, living flesh and blood and soul are the ones who feel and need nurturing. People rarely remember what you say or do... they will more often remember how you made them feel.
2 Peter 1:5-7 " For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; and to godliness, mutual affection; and to mutual affection, love. For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o_6JQDsbtlM
Thursday, June 14, 2012
What I used to be.
This verse often is used in a romantic sense:
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Prov 4:23
However, if we read it in context it refers to the aspect of using wisdom in our lives... keeping corruption out and watching the company we keep. It is frustrating when I hear this verse used out of context but I understand where the mistake is made. This is not a dating verse but I believe it has to do with the problem of the world's values polluting our hearts and becoming competition for God's love and his laws. Often it is thought that this verse is saying that when we consider another for marriage we should guard our hearts from becoming attached too easily. I don't think thats that topic here, although because we know God's character we understand that it can be applied in the same manner. I guess i'm just making a point that doesn't really have to be made.
I used to be very very guarded. Some people are not this way, we all have our individual struggles... but for myself, I needed to learn to open up. The way I 'guard' my heart in a relational way is different than how I used to. And my relationships with everyone; my family, friends and 'potentials' have flourished.
Above all, pursue wisdom. The fear (respect) of God is the beginning of wisdom. What a great place to to start!
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
VIDEO BLOGGLES!
Hello Friends, Family and all others of the Curious Public who've stopped by to see whats up on this page! I will be posting occasional video blogs updating on my thoughts and projects. Here's the first!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SECMpYPqprA&feature=youtu.be
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SECMpYPqprA&feature=youtu.be
Sunday, June 3, 2012
Why so serious?
Yeah, I take things a little serious. But hey, the funny moments are just all that much better right?
I need to remember this day. An awakening. A passion afire. The arts festival was downtown and I heard a song bout the rising tide. It's an illustration of Grace, sometimes it rises to consume us. It takes awhile to sink in.
I'll be, wading in the water/
wading in the water/
wading in the water./
The rising tide. A pulsating rhythm. Like a beat in the dark, growing, echoing, rising in volume... until the whole world hears and the dawn is ushered in. It's great and all that I like to paint and ride horses, thats all I can do I feel like sometimes. But I want a new dream, God's dream for me. I"m giving it over, letting the Lord settle in... redecorating and repurposing my life. I want to be made new... again.
I need to remember this day. An awakening. A passion afire. The arts festival was downtown and I heard a song bout the rising tide. It's an illustration of Grace, sometimes it rises to consume us. It takes awhile to sink in.
I'll be, wading in the water/
wading in the water/
wading in the water./
The rising tide. A pulsating rhythm. Like a beat in the dark, growing, echoing, rising in volume... until the whole world hears and the dawn is ushered in. It's great and all that I like to paint and ride horses, thats all I can do I feel like sometimes. But I want a new dream, God's dream for me. I"m giving it over, letting the Lord settle in... redecorating and repurposing my life. I want to be made new... again.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Afterglow
This is truly the afterglow... I do not remember the moment I was saved and I have many questions still. But I know this, that every person has a hunger for truth, we are all blind. And through the mire, I see a clear light still when I direct my gaze on Christ again. It's the same feeling of embracing a loved one that I have spent a great deal of time apart from. Although my knowledge increases, my experiences expand, for the good or to perhaps to regretful results ... the Love, Christ's pursuit of me, increases even more. Life is a pattern of constant renewal, God's Word is a good guide and the call to be prepared resonates and echoes in my heart.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Overwhelming.
Its Overwhelming, my God my God... racked with love and pain. But Hope is indeed stronger than Fear, and we know we have one greater. I'm coming back to my first Love.
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heartbeat.
Lay back against you and breathe, feel your heartbeat.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
Rosie the Riveter?
Why do I always feel like I need to be strong?
Pride, fear... is part of it. My nature demands that I step up to my own expectations. But tonight I am tired. My soul is parched from a need that is too often left wanting.. the need to be protected. I am still such a girl... I want to be loved and to just be pretty, spending time making the house lovely and to laugh.
But I am where I am, because I am WHO I am. I am who God made me.
God. Made. Me. And he loves me very much. So I will trust that this night too will pass.
Pride, fear... is part of it. My nature demands that I step up to my own expectations. But tonight I am tired. My soul is parched from a need that is too often left wanting.. the need to be protected. I am still such a girl... I want to be loved and to just be pretty, spending time making the house lovely and to laugh.
But I am where I am, because I am WHO I am. I am who God made me.
God. Made. Me. And he loves me very much. So I will trust that this night too will pass.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Dreamers and Visionaries.
You know them when you meet them. Those passion driven zealots with fire in their eyes. They're wild, they're daring and they always seem one step ahead of everyone else. In one way or another they find a way to succeed. Watch them, learn from them... or sidle up and learn with them!
Monday, May 7, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
Depressed?
Everyone should take a walk outside first thing in the morning. Its opens the mind, stretches the imagination and works the body.
On another note, i've been thinking about depression. I have many friends and relations that complain about depression now and again. Now i've been depressed as well, two days out of the past year. Not just the bummed, woe is me kind.. the really bad kind where there is something physically out of whack. I've also had the bummed woe is me kind and that is no fun either. BUT, i've given myself something to do when those sessions come upon me.. and that is to experiment in treating it! If your prone to depression, i encourage you to try this.
The first step is to separate yourself a bit and be able to see yourself from the outside. That takes some doing if you've never done it before. Literally, write down a plan to stick to when you feel the depression settle in. These are the things that should work if you give it good hearty effort.
Here's the things to try:
1. Find someone else to help and encourage. Forget about yourself, someone else may be having a crappy day and needs to hear a good word. Text your friends and let them know how much you appreciate them! Or better yet, write a letter to someone.
2. Get outside! Go for a walk.. enjoy nature. It is good medicine
3. And most importantly... get rid of ALL SELF PITY. Write a list of all the good things you have, if you have trouble... go on line and google 'starvation africa, orphans'. That'll get you going.
4. Message me with the results! I'm curious if this helps others as well.
On another note, i've been thinking about depression. I have many friends and relations that complain about depression now and again. Now i've been depressed as well, two days out of the past year. Not just the bummed, woe is me kind.. the really bad kind where there is something physically out of whack. I've also had the bummed woe is me kind and that is no fun either. BUT, i've given myself something to do when those sessions come upon me.. and that is to experiment in treating it! If your prone to depression, i encourage you to try this.
The first step is to separate yourself a bit and be able to see yourself from the outside. That takes some doing if you've never done it before. Literally, write down a plan to stick to when you feel the depression settle in. These are the things that should work if you give it good hearty effort.
Here's the things to try:
1. Find someone else to help and encourage. Forget about yourself, someone else may be having a crappy day and needs to hear a good word. Text your friends and let them know how much you appreciate them! Or better yet, write a letter to someone.
2. Get outside! Go for a walk.. enjoy nature. It is good medicine
3. And most importantly... get rid of ALL SELF PITY. Write a list of all the good things you have, if you have trouble... go on line and google 'starvation africa, orphans'. That'll get you going.
4. Message me with the results! I'm curious if this helps others as well.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Go do stuff!!
I woke up this morning knowing what I wanted for my life. Rather, I could say having a revelation on how God would have me live my life.
With loose roots. In a tent. Ready to follow a pillar of fire.
On the radio, I was hearing Bob Goff speak. He wrote a book called Love Does and I look forward to reading it. He's crazy! He's 'whimisical'! What a lovely thing to be for God.
Be ready and willing to make any sacrifice for the Lord. That good thing you were thinking of doing, do it now. That letter you wanted to write. Do it now. Telling your parents you love them. Do it now. Getting rid of the TV... do it now! The more I know, the more I want to know... Life is about learning. And I want to learn all I can plus more. I want to help people, to give all I can. This body is a tool, a mobility case for our soul. So do stuff!! While your soul has this body to borrow. Be ready when God says "go". Take a risk, your soul and your destiny have been purchased, what else do you have to lose?
With loose roots. In a tent. Ready to follow a pillar of fire.
On the radio, I was hearing Bob Goff speak. He wrote a book called Love Does and I look forward to reading it. He's crazy! He's 'whimisical'! What a lovely thing to be for God.
Be ready and willing to make any sacrifice for the Lord. That good thing you were thinking of doing, do it now. That letter you wanted to write. Do it now. Telling your parents you love them. Do it now. Getting rid of the TV... do it now! The more I know, the more I want to know... Life is about learning. And I want to learn all I can plus more. I want to help people, to give all I can. This body is a tool, a mobility case for our soul. So do stuff!! While your soul has this body to borrow. Be ready when God says "go". Take a risk, your soul and your destiny have been purchased, what else do you have to lose?
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
I danced today...
... and had an epiphany. As i was swing dancing with an older gentleman, who seemed to enjoy spinning me as I was wearing a dress that flowing quite nicely when spun, i began to look around at the massive, swirling, flowing waves of people. My partner spun me and as I turned I noticed a friend I knew, who was dancing also... and I thought "I so appreciate who she is... she is just so beautiful and full of character". I spun and glanced again, I saw one who was very dear to me but far away and then someone who has also given much meaning to my life. I began to notice that every time I was spinning I saw someone else I knew, someone who's touched my life in some way.
It was like a garden, all of us. Dancing there together. We grow with each other and away from each other but always connected somehow and things never stay the same. Everyone follows the lead they are currently in and yet things can change in a blink. We are like a forest, tall trees sharing roots, providing shade and support. We are no more than breath in the wind.. but we are together. And every one of them, meaningful to me, i cannot seem to articulate.
Spinning... spinning...
SHE made me smile the other day. HER laugh makes me laugh. I remember what HE showed me about life. SHE makes me feel so at ease...
Riveted to one spot, spinning. How many more days will I get like this? Then. It stops and life turns back on. I don't get many moments like that. Sometimes I feel like God shows me the inside of people. The soul side...
I am not typically a writer, but I had to share that moment.
It was like a garden, all of us. Dancing there together. We grow with each other and away from each other but always connected somehow and things never stay the same. Everyone follows the lead they are currently in and yet things can change in a blink. We are like a forest, tall trees sharing roots, providing shade and support. We are no more than breath in the wind.. but we are together. And every one of them, meaningful to me, i cannot seem to articulate.
Spinning... spinning...
SHE made me smile the other day. HER laugh makes me laugh. I remember what HE showed me about life. SHE makes me feel so at ease...
Riveted to one spot, spinning. How many more days will I get like this? Then. It stops and life turns back on. I don't get many moments like that. Sometimes I feel like God shows me the inside of people. The soul side...
I am not typically a writer, but I had to share that moment.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Brainiac
Your brain is the most valuable asset you have. The most powerful computer on earth. It grows stronger and faster the more you use it, with it you can achieve literally almost anything you put your mind to. And with todays endless supply of information, you can create, do and learn almost anything! So whats holding you back from succeeding? You have a brain, Use it! :D
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Mhm
Jennifer is well aware of her weaknesses... and dealing with emotional nausea for no good reason is ridiculous.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
It has been said...
I saw Sherlock Holmes this past weekend and what a great movie! It caused a nostalgic feeling in me for that time period where things were much less technological. Maybe next time you see me, i'll be wearing a top hat. Then again, perhaps not.
For some reason, our gadgets seem to keep getting simpler, more efficient and we name them after traditional fruits. Meanwhile, our lives get crazier and less meaningful. Is this right?
I don't know. But I have a voicemail on my phone. I must leave my reception-less house to walk under the stars and find a needlepoint spot of signal on my driveway... begging your pardon me lads and ladies.
For some reason, our gadgets seem to keep getting simpler, more efficient and we name them after traditional fruits. Meanwhile, our lives get crazier and less meaningful. Is this right?
I don't know. But I have a voicemail on my phone. I must leave my reception-less house to walk under the stars and find a needlepoint spot of signal on my driveway... begging your pardon me lads and ladies.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Hello, Goodbye
Spring is busy. :P
Soul Truffle for y'all:
"Many things--such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly--are done worst when we try hardest to do them."
Soul Truffle for y'all:
"Many things--such as loving, going to sleep, or behaving unaffectedly--are done worst when we try hardest to do them."
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
The stars, the stars...
I am more than what you see... deep inside, I am truly me.
While you drive the car, you are not the car itself. Just like your soul is mobile, because it is surrounded by your body... so is the car just a tool to get you from point A to point B.
This is why Soul pain, or Heartache hurts the worst. You can't see it bleed. And the more wounded it gets.. the thicker the calluses become. This is why it is imperative to guard your heart above all else, for it is the wellspring of life. Very few Humans can be trusted completely with another's heart. People will always fail sooner or later. This doesn't mean to stop loving your friends, by all means. But when it comes to relationships, give your heart to God; he is the only one that can handle it safely. And someday the occasion will come, when he lets someone else hold it for a while.
So don't go writing your own story... don't stir up love until it is time. After all, you only have one heart.
While you drive the car, you are not the car itself. Just like your soul is mobile, because it is surrounded by your body... so is the car just a tool to get you from point A to point B.
This is why Soul pain, or Heartache hurts the worst. You can't see it bleed. And the more wounded it gets.. the thicker the calluses become. This is why it is imperative to guard your heart above all else, for it is the wellspring of life. Very few Humans can be trusted completely with another's heart. People will always fail sooner or later. This doesn't mean to stop loving your friends, by all means. But when it comes to relationships, give your heart to God; he is the only one that can handle it safely. And someday the occasion will come, when he lets someone else hold it for a while.
So don't go writing your own story... don't stir up love until it is time. After all, you only have one heart.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Oh me, oh my.
I feel like the Bible contains soul calories. My soul goes through them fast... and when I am full of spiritual food, it is a satisfying, wonderful thing! But every morning my soul is hungry again. I've not been making my bible reading and God-Time a priority.
Friday, April 6, 2012
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
What is Truth? A blogpost inspired by my car troubles.
I woke up to the sound of hail on my window. A forecast for the day's events.
I must clarify though, when I say i've had a bad day.. i really haven't had a bad day, it's just not as glorious and exciting as the days i've been having up to that day. On a side note, the status of everything changes according to what you compare it to. Compared to most of the world's population... I never have had a truly 'bad day' and I realize this full well. So I want to put that in perspective up front. Back to topic:
I had an errands list as usual and most of it went well until I stopped by a Honda dealership to get my oil changed. I never have done this before as I always have had a family acquaintance who has an auto business do my car's oil. However, this dealership was a bit cheaper. Ten dollars cheaper to be exact. Charmed, I pull in like a good penny pinching dutch girl.
I get in line and an auto guy informs me that it will be an hour. I come back in an hour and i'm called in to examine the underside of my green Honda up on the stilts. "See that fluid? Thats a Tranny leak. The main seal is leaking majorly." "Nice." I reply thinking to how i just had my tranny fluid replaced by our auto acquaintance. "Get that checked out asap." Apparently this is a big deal. Back to the waiting room.
Here he comes again. Out I go to examine the car again.
One of the many mechanics comes over and holds out something. He says,"See this screw?" "Yep." "It's stripped. The last guy tightened it too tight and when we got it out the threads came with it and now it won't go back in. It'll be $100 to get it temporarily fixed." Lovely. "Are you sure you guys didn't do that?" (I know, i'm blunt.) But alas, he was convinced that it was the last guy who changed my oil's fault and I pay the money. I just got this car so i have no idea about the knowledge of the last oil changing person.
(This all is going somewhere, i promise)
So now I call the Auto Acquaintance. (A little history: i've been going to this guy for years and I have always been completely satisfied with him.) He says to come in immediately for him to check it. He hoists up the car to see the tranny and calls me out to look at the internals of my car. (i'm learning a lot today about car guts today) Long story short, he informs me that the dealership people were incorrect. "The main seal was not leaking.. it was a different spot and a slight leak, not a major one. Also they had put too much oil in for that particular engine. Also, they probably wrenched the screw off a little harder than was appropriate for a car of that age." The guys at the dealership are usually a bit inexperienced the Auto Acquaintance informs me. He's nicer than I am. I just keep thinking "JERKS." I was in a bad mood. But it's true, they were probably just not very experienced.
~*~
ANYways, i got to thinking. I've been on a pursuit of knowledge as far as researching what I believe about christianity. More specifically, I am passionate about learning about the differences that arose and split many christian denominations.
I wonder, am I like those first inexperienced mechanic? Making assumptions based on little knowledge? Perhaps I'm making a bigger deal out of what is minor. Perhaps what I perceive... is not the truth at all or is a only a stepping stone to what is the truth.
Ultimately, I want to grow closer to God. I love the church; the people of God who share this love! I do know this, that God promises that if you seek you will find. Knock and the door will be opened! Perhaps there are some answers we were not meant to know. But I believe, that keeping in an open mind and a true relationship with God... letting His life giving love flow through you, like a father caring for his curious children... He will reveal the answers to what we desire to know. :D
Onward!
Rag Curls!
For the longest time i've had short hair, now after deciding to grow my hair out for the last few years i feel like I have a chance to experiment a little! So exciting.. i am a big fan of long hair on woman after studying at JW Waterhouse's work for a while...
Also, i'm a bit of a naturalist so although i've wanted to... i've decided i'm not going to color or highlight my hair. I've been experimenting in other old fashion ways to style hair. Like Rag Curls! Sleeping with the hair wet and tied up in pieces of fabric... and here's the result! :)
Kinda cool... nice for something different after having straight hair. Yay!
Sunday, April 1, 2012
^_^
Being cool doesn't cut it, it takes Character to be a real person and to grow in favor with God and man..
Saturday, March 31, 2012
A slow fade.
If you think you stand, beware... lest you fall. Where is your passion? Satan will never dive into your life, saying "Suprise! I'm here to ruin your life." He's a brilliantly talented fallen angel. He will be subtle. If you question me, take a look how he works people into temptation to sin in the bible. So be wise people of the Almighty!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wo26sCH-Fw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0wo26sCH-Fw
The Seventh Commandment: part 2
Article in question: "Would you only marry a Virgin?" (Please scroll down and read article first so this all makes sense. )
I watched the two videos connected with the article... and it appears that Darrin is challenging the view that the church has, on promoting virginity purity before marriage. He believes it could be a dangerous 'bill of goods'.
In the first Video, Derrin comments on how the church creates an atmosphere for young adults to be MORE tempted to have sex before marriage, by encouraging them to pursue careers and put off marriage. He argues that this is only increasing the temptation. (2:00) I wonder, is he saying the church is to blame for the mistakes of the people? Also, he comments on how the church does not support young couples, saying "they only married for the sex." In which my first thought is, "Well duh." Lol.
But i believe that saying the church does not support young couples is isolated to his opinion. I know plenty of churches who I have the impression that they would stand beside and support all couples no matter their age. I believe this is a generalization on his part.
My conclusion about this video is he is presenting a controversial topic to get people riled up. He wants the attention. Way to go Rob Bell.
In the second Video, I understand the story of redemptive framework that he is promoting. Frankly a lot of what he is says is just a lot of assumptions that are really not worth my time to correct. So here's a few main points:
2:13 He expresses that the central tenet of the gospel has become wether or not a person is a virgin. Again, an assumption. Someone who has been called by God and accepted Christ is a new creation, God does not look at that person's past sins and neither should we. On a personal note, I have dated people who were not virgins and although it does cause me to pause and consider the type of person they may be based on their past decisions, it is not a deal-breaker for me. But consider this: I Cor. 6:18:
| |||
Just saying.
7:43 Again, a central point that Darrin makes is that we live in a sex saturated culture and that the church is unforgiving.
"Call me naïve or foolish or liberal, but I am truly convicted that the Church is preaching a message about purity that is both impractical and unforgiving. The culture disdains marriage and puts it off so that people might remain in a state of advanced adolescence for as long as possible, especially men."
Well, yes, we have a lot of those people. But doesn't mean that you and I can't be the exception. We should strive to spur each other on in purity but also we do need to accept people who have fallen into temptation and who want to continue to strive to do the right thing and live a life honoring to God.
In the article he also says "All spiritual platitudes aside, does it work in the real world? Can I tell my daughter, “Stay a virgin until marriage,” and have any hope of that being a possibility for her without it being the strangest anomaly known to man?"
Seventh Commandment: You shall not commit Adultery. (this includes adultery against your future spouse)
I vote, let's keep the standards up. I'm not about to let the culture begin to permeate my life like Sauron's army sweeping across the plains. If you believe that there 'is some good in this world and it's worth fighting for!' then keep up the good fight.
If you are a virgin, good! Keep it up and fear God, love him above all and watch the situations you put yourself in. You will be stronger and a better person. The rewards are worth the effort!
If you are not a virgin, and you are a believer... know that God has forgiven you! And so should the church, but if they don't... remember that the church is not perfect. Lean on God's words for support.
I kinda feel like I rambled on and on there... and i think this blog is unraveling anyhow. Comment if your feeling like it. I'm outta here. ;)
Here's the links:
http://thechristianmanifesto.com/archives/4807#comments
part 1: http://vimeo.com/39347942
part 2: http://vimeo.com/39382528
Here's the links:
http://thechristianmanifesto.com/archives/4807#comments
part 1: http://vimeo.com/39347942
part 2: http://vimeo.com/39382528
Inspiring Sushi.
I had sushi today! It was on my list of things to do this year... so as you can imagine, I was quite happy when I visited a friend today at City Flats Hotel and was recommended to try as such. :) It was so interesting, crab and a ginger flower... and i needed something out of the ordinary at that point. I was stuck in a rut as far as writing... art... anything. My brain was cramping up. I need to finish writing this Seventh Commandment blog and I just wasn't feeling anything.
But you know what? I am a creature of the Creator. So here I go...
~*~
All art is nonsense if you look at it the wrong way. No matter what you think, there is someone who will disagree with you. Perhaps what we always thought was true, is not. What is truth? And what if what we thought we wanted came in a form we did not recognize?
Seek and you will find, if you seek with all your heart.
And I found.
But you know what? I am a creature of the Creator. So here I go...
~*~
All art is nonsense if you look at it the wrong way. No matter what you think, there is someone who will disagree with you. Perhaps what we always thought was true, is not. What is truth? And what if what we thought we wanted came in a form we did not recognize?
Seek and you will find, if you seek with all your heart.
And I found.
Friday, March 30, 2012
The Seventh Commandment. Part 1
What do we think of this?
Here's the links for reference:
http://thechristianmanifesto.com/archives/4807#comments
part 1: http://vimeo.com/39347942
part 2: http://vimeo.com/39382528
Here's the links for reference:
http://thechristianmanifesto.com/archives/4807#comments
part 1: http://vimeo.com/39347942
part 2: http://vimeo.com/39382528
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Dot dot dot... book!
I so enjoy Blogging...
My inspiration these days has lately been coming off of pages of an unsuspicious looking books... sentences and paragraphs jumping out and hitting me square in the forehead. Most of which have been written by crusty old men who have long since deteriorated. But they've hit me none the less... and i can't quite help but think that it is not on accident.
Take John Calvin for example. Long ago, ever since a friend of mine brought up the Great Debate between Catholics and Protestants, a curiosity about the religious forefathers has been a driving force in my life. Granted, I am a born again Christian. I love God and his people. But this structure... these strange rules and regulations of religion that have separated the Body of Christ through the generations and even has had 'christians' killing 'christians' is a painful thing to think about. I can hardly bear to think that an organization who truly has God and his Love at it's center would go to such lengths to promote their interpretation of the Bible. My conclusion? They are not what God intended for his people.
Apparently, John Calvin as well as the author of this book "Pursued by God, the amazing life and lasting influence of John Calvin" is convinced as well that a relationship with God does not result in the the extreme exaggeration of rituals on the Catholic side nor the rebellious violence resulting from the Reformation. He was raised Catholic and only questioned the extremes of it, not condemning it completely. I am on page 31 and so far I am very much enjoying this book. More to come!
~*~
Another book to consider is St. Augustine of Hippo (the place, not the animal)
What a guy! What a writer and thinker! This guy seriously rocks my socks. He lived forever ago but I can totally relate to what he's saying. He writes of how God gently led his rebellious heart to be in step with His own. He was very much Catholic and so very close to God. Read it only if you have the guts because it is a very deep, deep read.
~*~
Ah, lets see... oh yes! One more book....
"Dating with Pure Passion." Aha! A dating book. Here we go.. now you are all paying attention. I have been putting alot of thought into this dating thing and how it relates to me. I have observed that each person has their own 'style' of dating. I am starting to understand this delicate business of trying to find that person that you connect with and who you can entertain thoughts of marriage with. In my earlier years, I was disliked the thought of being connected with anybody for that length of time. But I'm starting to understand... I have no one in particular in my life at this time, but i've settled into a 'dating pattern' to be sure. The questions i ask myself about each person i consider. Then there is that curious thing known as, chemistry.
This book is a lantern for sure. It it telling me just what I knew deep inside... that to follow Christ first, is to hand over the reins of future marriage. Idolize God, not that person that might be the perfect one. I love what this author suggests, that God is not going to have your life all planned out like you are a robot... he will put people across your path for you to consider, good and bad choice people. He knows what choice you are going to make, but YOU are going to make it. So stick close to God... let him influence you to make wise decisions.
Thats all folks! Looking forward to painting tomorrow... check out my other Blog sometime: Artistically Equestrian
My inspiration these days has lately been coming off of pages of an unsuspicious looking books... sentences and paragraphs jumping out and hitting me square in the forehead. Most of which have been written by crusty old men who have long since deteriorated. But they've hit me none the less... and i can't quite help but think that it is not on accident.
Take John Calvin for example. Long ago, ever since a friend of mine brought up the Great Debate between Catholics and Protestants, a curiosity about the religious forefathers has been a driving force in my life. Granted, I am a born again Christian. I love God and his people. But this structure... these strange rules and regulations of religion that have separated the Body of Christ through the generations and even has had 'christians' killing 'christians' is a painful thing to think about. I can hardly bear to think that an organization who truly has God and his Love at it's center would go to such lengths to promote their interpretation of the Bible. My conclusion? They are not what God intended for his people.
Apparently, John Calvin as well as the author of this book "Pursued by God, the amazing life and lasting influence of John Calvin" is convinced as well that a relationship with God does not result in the the extreme exaggeration of rituals on the Catholic side nor the rebellious violence resulting from the Reformation. He was raised Catholic and only questioned the extremes of it, not condemning it completely. I am on page 31 and so far I am very much enjoying this book. More to come!
~*~
Another book to consider is St. Augustine of Hippo (the place, not the animal)
What a guy! What a writer and thinker! This guy seriously rocks my socks. He lived forever ago but I can totally relate to what he's saying. He writes of how God gently led his rebellious heart to be in step with His own. He was very much Catholic and so very close to God. Read it only if you have the guts because it is a very deep, deep read.
~*~
Ah, lets see... oh yes! One more book....
"Dating with Pure Passion." Aha! A dating book. Here we go.. now you are all paying attention. I have been putting alot of thought into this dating thing and how it relates to me. I have observed that each person has their own 'style' of dating. I am starting to understand this delicate business of trying to find that person that you connect with and who you can entertain thoughts of marriage with. In my earlier years, I was disliked the thought of being connected with anybody for that length of time. But I'm starting to understand... I have no one in particular in my life at this time, but i've settled into a 'dating pattern' to be sure. The questions i ask myself about each person i consider. Then there is that curious thing known as, chemistry.
This book is a lantern for sure. It it telling me just what I knew deep inside... that to follow Christ first, is to hand over the reins of future marriage. Idolize God, not that person that might be the perfect one. I love what this author suggests, that God is not going to have your life all planned out like you are a robot... he will put people across your path for you to consider, good and bad choice people. He knows what choice you are going to make, but YOU are going to make it. So stick close to God... let him influence you to make wise decisions.
Thats all folks! Looking forward to painting tomorrow... check out my other Blog sometime: Artistically Equestrian
Monday, March 26, 2012
Kids these days.
I find it terribly interesting when a high school acquaintance greets me in the same way we used to as kids. With a nickname or common teasing phrase. I want to say "But i'm a grown up now!!"
Yes, yes yes... but am I really? What does God say on the subject? "Who ever does not become like a little child... " you know the verse. I thought I was done growing... but what a childish thought.
Accept God's word like a little child... but don't stop there. Get past the milk and feed your spirit with daily food from the word of God. Surround and support yourself with Godly friends. And worship God with gladness wherever you are in your day.
Yes, yes yes... but am I really? What does God say on the subject? "Who ever does not become like a little child... " you know the verse. I thought I was done growing... but what a childish thought.
Accept God's word like a little child... but don't stop there. Get past the milk and feed your spirit with daily food from the word of God. Surround and support yourself with Godly friends. And worship God with gladness wherever you are in your day.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
*Inspiring Quote Alert*
"Whenever you go out-of-doors, draw the chin in, carry the crown of the head high, and fill the lungs to the utmost; drink in the sunshine; greet your friends with a smile, and put soul into every handclasp. Do not fear being misunderstood and do not waste a minute thinking about your enemies. Try to fix firmly in your mind what you would like to do; and then, without veering off direction, you will move straight to the goal. Keep your mind on the great and splendid things you would like to do, and then, as the days go gliding away, you will find yourself unconsciously seizing upon the opportunities that are required for the fulfillment of your desire." Advice from Elbert Hubbard
Interpretation
Seek Justice, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly with your God.
To seek Justice... is to condemn myself, for I am not worthy. To love Mercy is to appreciate what Christ has done for me on the cross, because of Grace. So what other response can I have but to walk humbly with my God who's saved me?
To seek Justice... is to condemn myself, for I am not worthy. To love Mercy is to appreciate what Christ has done for me on the cross, because of Grace. So what other response can I have but to walk humbly with my God who's saved me?
Kindle My Heart
My heart feels... trashy. Thats the way I have to describe it. Needs a good God-fire to clean and purify...
Ahh! It is a lovely thing to blog, is it not? It is a lovely-er thing to talk to real people as well, which is what i've been doing for the past five hours... God is doing a work in me. And i had to ask for it... after he showed me the path I was on. I'm not as strong as I think I am. And it's hard to admit that I'm not doing a good job of putting him first... but when you realize that the shadow you've been following looks an awful lot like the world than it does like Jesus the error is kinda hard to deny.
So here I am. It's hard to go backwards... it really is. First thing that struck me this week: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Really? When was the last time I feared... or fretted over whether or not God would be pleased with what i'm thinking or doing? Yup. Point taken. Next thing: "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you." Ah. Well, then... I've been trying to add things to my life for the momentary highs of happiness and figuring that seeking God will fill in the spaces. Hmmm....
I'm needing a Re-Boot. A Spell-Check. A De-Tox. What ever you wanna call it... I'm inviting God to do a Spring Cleaning, no matter the cost. So we'll see what happens next.
Ahh! It is a lovely thing to blog, is it not? It is a lovely-er thing to talk to real people as well, which is what i've been doing for the past five hours... God is doing a work in me. And i had to ask for it... after he showed me the path I was on. I'm not as strong as I think I am. And it's hard to admit that I'm not doing a good job of putting him first... but when you realize that the shadow you've been following looks an awful lot like the world than it does like Jesus the error is kinda hard to deny.
So here I am. It's hard to go backwards... it really is. First thing that struck me this week: "The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Really? When was the last time I feared... or fretted over whether or not God would be pleased with what i'm thinking or doing? Yup. Point taken. Next thing: "Seek first the Kingdom of God and all these things will be added unto you." Ah. Well, then... I've been trying to add things to my life for the momentary highs of happiness and figuring that seeking God will fill in the spaces. Hmmm....
I'm needing a Re-Boot. A Spell-Check. A De-Tox. What ever you wanna call it... I'm inviting God to do a Spring Cleaning, no matter the cost. So we'll see what happens next.
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